Have you found yourself stuck in the land of Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda?? Are you going over the mistakes you think you made in life, wondering "what if" or "if only?" Are you stuck in the memory of the person that you used to be in the past and getting tangled up in accepting the person that you truly are today?
If you are staying stuck in the regret of the life you think you "should" have had, or if you keep replaying mistakes that you think you made or are wondering what "could" have happened if only you had done that thing that you didn't do, then you end up missing the life that you are actually living! The thing about life is that sometimes things just don't work out. But sometimes that truly does mean that they weren't meant to. Sometimes it is true that a door closes, but eventually a window opens and that window opens you up to new possiblilites and life experiences.
Life is not easy. And it IS easy sometimes to fall into the rut of looking back, especially when things don't seem to be working out in the present. It's especially hard today to feel good about your life if you are going through a challenging period, because if you spend even 5 minutes on Facebook, you will see people who seem to have perfect lives and tons of family and friends. We live in a society of social comparison and if you are feeling vulnerable, it can be easy to fall into a downward spiral of self-doubt and sadness of how your life is not where it "should be" or " "could be" if only...
Insecurities and anxieties can wreak havoc with your ability to stay in the present and appreciate what you DO have. Here are a few tips to help you regain your balance and find some peace of mind:
- Be patient with yourself. When you find yourself caught up in critical self-chatter, kindly remind yourself that you have always done the best that you could at the time.
- Focus on one thing that you can actually do in the present. Something that has meaning for you, whatever that is.
- Stress happens when your mind resists "what is." Allow things to unfold. Control is an illusion - the only thing you can truly control is your reaction to what is happening, or what has already taken place.
- Being positive doesn't mean that you don't react to sad or bad things that happen. You are not a robot. Being positive simply means that you don't let the negativity take over your soul. Find a phrase that you can tell yourself when you really feel stuck or anxious or regretful. Maybe something like "I am stronger than my fear" or "I am doing the best that I can."
Take good care... Until next time,
Here's to the road that lies ahead, Here's to you!